After delivery and ICU...This is Jeffrey's account...
After saying our "hellos" and "goodbyes" to Matthias, we had to wait for Kristie to deliver the placenta. This is where things got scary for us. After an hour, she still hadn't delivered the placenta, so Dr. Paul came in to get out what he could manually. He was able to get out the majority, but couldn't get it all so Kristie was wheeled back for a D and C. At this point, Dr. Paul mentioned the likely possibility of having to do a total hysterectomy. After Kristie was brought back from her D and C, we tried to get some sleep. Unfortunately, we were woken up at 6:00 am with the nurses and doctor moving around frantically. Kristie had lost too much blood and they started her on a blood transfusion. On top of that, she had gained seven pounds in less than 24 hours, and that was even after delivery. So, she was at 270. After the first blood transfusion and blood tests, they determined she was still loosing too much blood and they moved us to the ICU unit.
Once there, they started a PICC line, hooked up an additional 3 units of blood, and started her on numerous diuretics to pull off the excess fluid in her body. All the while, her blood pressure was still all over the place. At one point, they gave her a blood pressure medicine that immediately dropped her blood pressure, which caused her heart rate to jump up to catastrophic levels. I made the decision to tell our parents, without telling them all of the details because, you know, 500 questions later, and I didn't have the time or the patience for that. I was asked about power of attorney and if there were any DNR orders. That's not something you ever want to be asked.
Luckily, they finally found the right combination of medicines for both the blood pressure and the water retention. The first 24 hours, Kristie lost 16 liters of fluid. She was finally stable enough to be discharged from the ICU and moved back to the labor and delivery floor where they continued the diuretic medicines to pull off all of the extra fluid. After continuing to improve, we were finally discharged. Her total weight lost in the hospital was 45 pounds in 5 days.
On the way home, Kristie finally broke down, but my exact words to her were to "Knock that shit off", as her case was so severe, I almost made that drive home by myself. I almost lost my wife, and my daughters almost lost their mother. This pregnancy almost killed her, and in hindsight, it was for the best that Matthias passed when he did, because Kristie wouldn't have made it much longer, and I didn't want to have to make any final decisions on the pregnancy. Her quality of life for that month since diagnosis was not good. She couldn't take care of herself, was miserable, and in constant pain, yet never complained.
She still struggles with daily life functions, but I'm finally starting to see my wife make her return to normalcy. Our doctors have all said any future pregnancies will kill her. We are done with that part of our lives, but have plans to adopt again when the time is right.
Back to me...
I continue to slowly improve. I am currently down 65 pounds from Feb 3rd. I am still retaining fluid in my legs and stomach, with putting on so much weight so fast I am now covered in stretch marks. They are wide. They are pink. They are not completely healed. I put a medicated lotion on them daily. I can feel them pull when I turn over in bed. They are now my badge of honor. Over time, I will embrace my tiger stripes. I earned them. They will remind me of the battle I fought and I won. Jeffrey said they are like my version of a Purple Heart.
I am however still on three blood pressure medicines, a water pill, stool softener, Tylenol if needed, and an iron pill. What we are dealing with now is my heart rate. It is spiking when I stand to do things. It could be to make a meal, do some dishes, or even to just shower and dry my hair. I am so thankful for my FitBit. It is keeping track and it tells me how high it is getting. I am still not getting around the best. Walking from the car into the store would cause my heart rate to jump into the 120's or higher. When it does that I need to sit and breath through it. I need to slow it down. If I don't I start to feel panicky. The doctor said it from the blood pressure medications. If I forget to take the medication, I can tell. We will slowly get this under control.
I am still off work. My school administration is amazing. They have supported me through this. They want me back healthy. I know my class is in good hands right now. For once, I really need to focus on me and not everyone else. I need to be able to stand and not get winded when I walk around. I need my stamina back.
What I am dealing with emotionally is the hard part. I cry. I'm not mad like I was last time. With the twins I was absolutely honked off. I was mad at God. I didn't go to church for over a month. This time, I am just sad. I get very anxious when we go out in public. People do mean well and they are just curious but I am not at that stage that I can talk openly about everything that happened to me. Eventually, I will be able to talk about it without completely breaking down.
This is my story about Pre-Eclampsia. It is nothing to take lightly. I was blessed to have an amazing doctor. He saved me from losing everything. I was meant to stay here on earth. I was meant to tell my story. I want people to know how scary it got. I want this to help someone else who is going through this too. Infant loss is a tragedy. No one should have to bury their child. We have buried three Malachi, Marianna, and now Matthias. A piece of your heart is missing. It is ok to grieve. It is ok to cry. This is normal. You have to lean on your husband, lean on your family, and lean on your friends.
Matthias Carlen Finley
Born and Passed on Feb. 3rd, 2018
Laid to rest on Mar. 11th, 2018
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