Monday, December 29, 2014

Micah Annelise

Well miss Micah is now officially a week old! What a week it has been. It had flown by! She is doing well too!! She sleeps about 4 to 6 hours at night. She cries only if she is dirty or hungry. She hardly fusses at all! She is a very good baby! Micah also had her first doctor appointment today. She was 7 pounds 11 oz when she was born. Today Micah weighed 7 pounds 5 oz. I know it is normal for babies to loose weight after birth. So I am not worried!

Now...WOW...I never ever thought that we would have ever gotten this kind of response. Thank you all for your prayers, support, and kind words. I can already tell that Micah with be loved from all sides. The support we have gotten from this community is overwhelming! Jasper County is a special place. Thank you all! Our families have showered little miss Micah with so much love too!

She may not have grown in my tummy but she has already latched onto my heart. She will be a daddy's girl for sure but she will be spoiled rotten by her mama!

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Welcome Baby Finley!

Well first of all I would like to welcome to the world Micah Annelise Finley! She was born at 10:12am on 12/22/14. She was 7 pounds 11 ounces and 20 inches long. Now the story behind how we ended up with a baby in our home......

We got a call last Thursday night from our caseworker, Nina. I was freaking out because Jeffrey left 5 minutes before for his Christmas concert. She called to tell us that a birth mom would like to meet with us on Saturday afternoon. The kicker BM was due on Christmas day! Needless to say I was FREAKING OUT and I'm sure I sounded like a babbling idiot. I was in tears...happy tears! We were supposed to leave for Chicago and do our Christmas celebrating with my family. Those plans changed REALLY quickly. I only told a few people about Saturday. Which was really hard at school on Friday. I was pacing, very detached and not myself. I was a mess on the inside! So our neighbor Julie came over with some of her daughters old clothes and helped me install the car seat in the Journey. On Saturday we were SOOOOO nervous. We met with BM and her sister. Once the "ice was broken" we talked like we were old friends. The meeting lasted an hour and a half and our caseworker hardly had to talk. We found out that she had picked us! From Saturday on we would need our bags packed and be ready for a call anytime. Well then comes Monday 2:15am our phone rings. We were ready in 30 minutes and out the door....BM was in labor and we had to drive the longest 2 1/2 hours. We were in the waiting room when we got the word our little girl was born. The nurse came in and took our phones to get pictures! We were parents...our lives were flipped upside down in 2 days time. Most parents have 9 months...we had 2 days. We hadn't really eaten much. Our stomaches were in knots. The glow on Jeffrey's face was priceless. He was finally a daddy. We stayed for the required 24 hours with Miss Micah and then we got to leave after signing a Legal Risk document.

From Jeffrey's post....
"There is still a chance that we will not get to keep her, however. We signed what is called a "legal risk" to get to bring her home and have her here for Christmas. The 72 hours are up on Christmas Day, which would be when the birth parents can sign their surrenders, but the agency feels (and we agree) that knowing you "surrendered" your child on Christmas Day would be too hard to remember every year, so surrenders will be on Friday. After surrenders, she is still not legally "ours"; finalization of adoption will take place in June, which is called a "Gotcha Day". It might seek risky to take her home before surrenders are signed, but our case workers told us if there was any hint that the birth parents would change their minds, they wouldn't let us take her early.

Now, about the birth parents: this whole process us definitely changed our viewpoints. I know this isn't the case with every adoption, and we are quickly finding that ours is unique, but the birth parents, especially mom, are incredibly amazing. They wanted no assistance, were adamant that we make all the decisions from the beginning, stressed to us that WE were the parents, not them, and just made the whole situation so much easier for us than what it could have been. These birth parents were the first ones that have come in to the agency since we were able to be considered in June, and they picked us. We know that's not always the case. Please continue praying for them."

I know a lot of you may have questions about the adoption process. Our situation is VERY unique. Especially with Christmas here...If you have questions please ASK us! We will answer your questions. :)

Sunday, December 7, 2014

The Kristie's head...

Please remember this is my blog and my thoughts and if you don't like it then don't read on...this is MY outlet...

Well it has been a while since I wrote in here. I've been, just here, I have had a hard couple months...mentally. To me...there has been A LOT of pregnancy announcements/births on FB. It is like a huge "LOOK AT ME" billboard. I need to take time to process these types of things/announcements. I need to accept them on my terms. I feel like people get offended if I don't say anything...but why say it when it is empty words? I'm hurting on the inside. Every new announcement is a new nail in my heart another reminder of my struggles to get pregnant. Having to deal with these takes time. I get very upset and cry every time. I try to keep my feelings under control until I get home. Then I cry it out and I feel better for a little while. Then that wave hits and I go through it again. Talking about it is a circle. Jeffrey has heard it a million times. Yet, he listens and doesn't say a word and just holds me. It helps.

If you have not had to deal with infertility please don't tell me you know how I feel. Honestly, I really don't want to hear it. You seriously have no clue!! Don't tell me you understand my feelings because it took you a couple months to get pregnant. Don't tell me to relax, it will happen. Don't tell me it isn't my time yet. Don't tell me to stop thinking about it. Don't tell me God has a plan. Seriously, none of it helps.

I have had 2 miscarriages. Two times we got to see the positive line on that stick. Two times we got very excited. The second time would have been twins...but I lost the first pregnancy at 8 weeks and I lost the second one because they were ectopic. Having a double ectopic pregnancy with IVF is a 1% chance. Lucky us, we were the 1%! Both eggs implanted in places they shouldn' my tube and in my ovary. I had to get two shots of methotrexate (a cancer type drug) to help the eggs detach themselves. It took a couple months for my HCG levels to get to 0. Thats right...every week we had to get blood work done. Every week I went to the hospital. Every week I got blood drawn and every week I waited to hear my numbers and hoped they went down. If they didn't go down it meant surgery to remove them. The people in the lab got to know me and it seemed routine. If you have never had a miscarriage then you don't know the steps you go through and the feelings of just waiting to see that number hit 0 so you can try again. MONTHS OF WAITING!

So again don't tell me you know how I feel...

We are playing the waiting game with the adoption. We are really just waiting. We have the nursery set up and clothes in the closet. We have a stroller and carseats ready. The door to the nursery is closed. I want it to be open and hear noise coming from it. I want to be tired from being up all night. I want to look a mess. I want to have a stinky diaper to change. I want to be thrown up on in the middle of the night. You parents out there have NO IDEA how lucky you are to have a child. Yet some of you complain on FB about some or all of those things. I see it and look at it a different way...through my eyes...

We have still a ways to go on our fund raising. So we have decided to start spreading the news about a great company we have decided to start working with. They are all about people and their products. The products are toxin free and green. If you want more info let me know.

I write here because I need a place to vent. I am not looking for pity either. So don't give it to me. I was clearly given this path because I could handle it. I need a place to write my feelings down. I always feel better after I write. If this offends you feel free to unfriend me. It won't hurt my feelings any.