Wednesday, August 5, 2015

My life is changing...

My life has changed....

I have started making more decisions...for me. Some small...some larger. For those of you that know me this is HUGE. I'm a people pleaser. I do what others think I should do. I want to make sure others are happy before me. That is how I have always been. Lately, I have started making decisions for me which is weird...but I am a little happier...

We now have an active infant. She is our life and we want to spend all our extra time with her. I love staying home, because traveling with her is a little different now. She doesn't just fall asleep in her car seat anymore. She is so busy looking out the window and checking out the world outside. I don't blame her I do the same thing.

My life since school got out has been spent in the car and band camps. Since I don't get a pay check in the summer my band camps ARE my paycheck. We lost the most loving person in the WHOLE world in June, my Grandma. We spent a lot of time up north in June. We saved every penny took out a couple loans and were able to finish paying the adoption agency. We FINALLY officially adopted Micah. I had guard camp for a week with my Newton girls in June too. I needed to work ALL my camps this summer we needed the money for Micah's fees.

Then July came...and went! I spent ALL of July at band camps. I had SWC the first three weeks and Newton's band camp the last week of July. I missed my families vacation (again) to Minocqua and two weddings in July too. It was heartbreaking to miss both weddings, since both are family to me, but I HAD to make a choice. I know it probably wasn't the most popular one. I'm sure some people are irritated or disappointed, but it was the best for my little family.

Is that selfish of us? You may think so, and that is your opinion. We don't! Until you exhaust all of your resources and savings on trying to have a child of your own then you have no idea how we feel. We waited 7 years to have a child. We went through years of fertility treatments in Indianapolis. The driving. The schedules. The appointments. The tests. The pain. The needles. The drugs. The bruises. The miscarriages. The negatives. The disappointment. I was a hormonal mess. We waited this long for a child. We are going to do everything in our power to spend all of our time with her and spoil her rotten.

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