Let me start from the beginning. Jeffrey and I have ALWAYS wanted to adopt. Our plan from when we were dating was to have our family and then adopt because we wanted to be able to give a child a good home and a steady life. So this route was always going to happen regardless. Now that I have had issues with holding a pregnancy this is just changing our perspective on everything.
.......Enjoy my thinking out loud.......
Do we actively pursue adoption solely? Pour all of our time and money into something that will be a FOR SURE thing. That in the end we will walk out of this with a child in our arms. BUT we know there could be ups and downs with this process too. That baby would be loved SO much and have such a great future. He/She would have a HUGE family to love them.
Do we put off some of the adoption process to do another round of IVF and chart off into an unknown future of this not working again? Or it working and me having to possibly deal with ANOTHER miscarriage while I'm at camp in July? Or it could work and I could have a totally normal pregnancy...But then I think...Will I ever get the feeling of a baby in my tummy? Will I know what it is like to be pregnant and to have a child of our own? Is this really important to me...UGH I DONT KNOW!!!!!
Or do we pursue the adoption route and once that is settled then do another round of IVF after? My age is going to start being a major player in that arena. I mean IVF isn't going anywhere. I could probably stay on birth control just to keep me moving. I'm so confused I don't know where to go with my thoughts anymore.
My question is how on God's green earth are we going to afford adoption?!?!? Its SO expensive...we thought about maybe trying a gofundme thing but I feel horrible taking peoples money...AHHHHH.......
I would appreciate your opinions and thoughts and nice words and encouragement and stuff.
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ReplyDeleteIt takes a lot to put something so personal out there and i thank you for being so brave and so open. I wish nothing more, then for to someday be able to know the joy and experience of being pregnant. It really is amazing. But I also love that you were always dead set on adopting as well. There are so many children that need a good home and i can't think of anyone who deserve a child more than you two. I think that shoul maybe look more into the adoption process and the costs. I have no dout you already have been. I always believe in the power of possibilities and i still hope and pray that one day, the treatment will work and you will be blessed with a little one of your very own. I don't have much but, if there's anything you ever or need or that I can do to help you, I'm here. Love you girl and keep up the fight. =)
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